Motherhood, Burnout & The Illusion of “Having It All Together
Our parents did the best they could with the resources and knowledge available to them, protecting and providing for us as children. For me, part of that protection meant maintaining composure and creating the illusion that life was all rainbows, butterflies, and cute little bunnies. I was raised to believe that if I followed the rulebook—get a good education, get married, buy a house and a car, and then have children—everything would magically fall into place.
So, imagine how out of place I felt when I grew up and realized that adulthood is no joke! And imagine how shocked I was to learn that my parents didn’t have it all together either—they faced struggles, made sacrifices, and wrestled with life behind closed doors. However, in their effort to protect me, they kept many things hidden, and honestly, I believe some of those experiences could have helped shape and prepare me for the real world.
Don’t get me wrong—now that I’m a parent, I understand the delicate dance of deciding what to share with our children, when, and how. Is it even necessary for them to know? And if so, what’s the age-appropriate way to say it?
These constant questions, along with the daily demands of parenting, can lead to mental and physical overload or exhaustion, commonly known as burnout. And while dads, father figures, and non-birthing parents experience burnout too (I see you—we may have something for you soon!), today is for the moms. The mothers, mother figures, and birthing persons—because research shows we often carry the “motherload” (no pun intended) of mental and emotional labor in the household.
We’re expected—and sometimes we pressure ourselves—to smile and be grateful while somehow maintaining our pre-mom bodies. Heaven forbid we ask for help, because that might be seen as an indictment of our capability or strength. But strength doesn’t mean doing it all alone.
We wear multiple hats: chef, organizer, nurse, chauffeur, referee (if you have multiple kids—you know), and so much more. Nurturing comes naturally to us, but… does it have to go at our own expense?
Let me remind you: you don’t have to do this alone. You deserve rest. You deserve care. You deserve to be nurtured, too. You can pour into your family and pour into yourself.
Think about the way we cradle and soothe our little ones when they’re hurt—now I invite you to offer that same tenderness to yourself.
Asking for help is not a sign of weakness—it’s a sign of wisdom.
Join us in our virtual maternal support group—a safe space where we laugh, cry, share, and learn with other moms whose lives may mirror your own. Be seen, supported, and reminded that you are never alone in this journey.
To register, visit: https://thecenterforchilddevelopment.com/maternal-support/